Ok, so I am a guy, and that means that I automatically hate women’s romance novels to begin with. This goes deeper than pure gender though. This goes to the very core of what our society is based on with gender roles, double standards, sexual relationships and football. Ok, maybe not football, but I miss the NFL already, so I had to throw it out there. Anyway, back to business. Romance novels (and all of there spin-offs) are evil and they are making life exceptionally hard for men in America. To best explain this tragedy, I am going to deal with this issue in a professional and formal debate style, with resolved points. You can disagree if you’d like, but good luck.
Resolved: The men in romance novels are impossibly perfect.
This is not even an issue that can be challenged intelligently, even unintelligibly for that matter. The men in these stories are not only dashingly handsome, physical perfect, amazing lovers and capable of fighting and defeating any enemy that may come challenge his or his woman’s honor, they are also sensitive enough to cry, buy flowers and remember every important occasion that has ever taken place in the history of love and mankind. Are you kidding me? There are not enough hours in the day for me to workout enough to have freaking 8 pack abs and bulging biceps, then go to a obviously very well paying job to provide all those wonderful gifts to my wonderful woman, and somehow be able to make breakfast in bed and fight off the evils of the world. Seriously? This is creating a lot of unnecessary pressure on those of us that are pretty good husbands and fathers. How in the hell do I keep up? This is akin to women getting upset that men like to look at Playboy because the women are too “perfect” and women “do not really look like that.” Duh, we know that, we’ve always known that. We may seem like cretins, but we do actually have a brain in there somewhere.
Resolved: There is a serious double standard when it comes to women and men’s objectification of the opposite sex
One word: Twilight.
Imagine 100 men standing in line to see a movie with signs claiming how much they love Taylor Swift or Hayden Panetierre. Creepy? Damn skippy its creepy. But how many rown women went to see “New Moon” with “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob” scrolled all over everything? Strange.
I know that there are double standards everywhere and this is not the most important issue in the entire world, but I really would prefer if my wife would put down that Harlequin book and pick up Lord of the Rings, where at least men are men and they can be dirty and manly and hang out with dwarves and get drunk, and our women will still let us sleep in our own beds.
I’m an aspiring author and a woman, and I have to say I agree with all of the above. Granted, I have written some romance, but – that being said – I do my absolute best to make sure that my characters are realistic and not over-the-top perfect.
For example, I’ve got a male lead in a book I just finished writing who cusses, makes crass jokes, and farts – all with no apologies to his love interest. He’s honest and not in the least bit shy about anything (which makes him a good lover in his own way, if only because he’s very open about that sort of stuff). He is a neurosurgeon, so yeah, he’s got money but he’s also steeped in student loans. And because he’s a neurosurgeon, because he’s so damn busy, he’s not a beefcake at all – just kind of average guy. Average body. Average looks, etc. And miracle of miracles, the girl falls in love with him – just like real women fall in love with real guys every day.
But, all this is coming from me, and I think Zack and Miri Make a Porno was one of the sweetest movies I’ve seen in a while. That’s MY kind of romance, and it’s the kind I strive to write. I don’t want to write wish-fulfillment novels. At the end of one of my books, I want a woman to remember why it is she fell in love with her husband or boyfriend, etc. Not shut the book and say, “Why isn’t my guy like this?” Best case scenario would be that after reading one of my books, her husband or boyfriend, etc. gets to do a little more than just sleep in his own bed…
Comment by Danielle — April 16, 2011 @ 5:29 am
I F***** agree!
Comment by ManlyMen — June 2, 2011 @ 7:44 am
Agree totally. You might enjoy reading my novel, Rose’s Will based on your post. One man is impotent and one is an overweight blue-collar family man whose wife likes to give head! LOL! You can get it on Amazon or B&N or from the publisher 48fourteen.com
Comment by Denise DeSio — January 12, 2012 @ 9:32 pm